HOW CAN JEALOUSY HELP YOU?
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How to deal with jealousy? Why can jealousy help you?
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Why can jealousy help you? How to deal with jealousy?
Jealousy is most commonly associated with something unhealthy and undesirable. I believe, however, that each emotion exists for a reason. And jealousy is not an exception. So how to deal with jealousy? To me, this feeling is an indicator that we lack something. Instead of stifling jealousy, I observe it carefully to see what it implies, and then it disappears on its own. I truly like this underrated emotion, because it often opens my eyes to what I unconsciously want. The feeling of jealousy demands some analysis, though.
Jealousy is never an obvious indicator. It’s not like when you’re jealous you desire the exact thing you’re jealous about.
Let me tell you a story of Rachel, a thirty-three year old woman.
Rachel knows a woman, Martha, who works in the same field as Rachel does. Martha is a lovely creature, she earns an average but satisfying salary, and dreams of wonderful adventures. One day, Rachel and Martha talk about the hardships of life, money, dreams, expectations, and they both arrive at the conclusion that life is tricky.
To Rachel’s surprise, a month later, Martha sells and donates all her belongings but her backpack, quits her job, takes her beloved dog and embarks on a journey abroad in the quest for finding inspiration and simply discovering what fate has in store for her. She decides to spend her nights on campgrounds and to take various part-time jobs to pay for her journey.
Rachel can’t help feeling a pang of jealousy. But do you think Rachel longs for the exact same trip with her backpack and nights on the campsite etc.? Do you think she should leave her country as well? The answer is no. Rachel loves the place where she lives and hates tents. What Rachel is truly jealous about is that Martha plucked up the courage to go after her intuition and had the courage to liberate herself from the chains of an average life.
You see, in reality Rachel hates her current job and dreams of a totally different career and life. She loves saying “Life is too short to wait” but just doesn’t seem to have worked out how to follow that motto. Martha, on the other hand, seems to be doing the exact thing.
So, whenever you feel jealous, don’t take the object of your jealousy literally, but dwell on the subject, make the effort to see what’s truly hidden behind it.
I’m not saying it’s always easy, sometimes it’s not. There were times when I got jealous about something which didn’t make any sense to me, and I couldn’t wrap my head around it. But when I finally got to the core, it was easier to deal with jealousy, and then it would naturally go away having served its purpose.
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