RED FLAGS SUGGESTING YOU’RE LOOKING FOR EXCUSES
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Red flags suggesting that you’re simply looking for excuses
We’ve got a situation:
You perfectly know you should do something but you’re not doing it. Why? Because you have serious reasons. Or do you?
Here are 4 red flags suggesting that you’re simply looking for excuses:
EXCESSIVE TALKING
Not sure if it ever caught your attention but there are moments during which people are overly talking about WHY they haven’t done something so far. Really. Just stop reading for a few seconds and think – I’m sure you’ve got a friend or a colleague who spent hours enumerating his or her reasons and seeking your validation.
A situation example:
Your friend (let’s call her Monica) would like to socialize more, she feels she’s too reserved and she has few friends. One day, her workmate organises a weekend kayaking trip and invites everyone from the office, including your friend. So, finally Monica has an opportunity to hang out with more people, to make new friends, to socialise. But she’s not too delighted about the whole situation. Actually, she declines the invitation unlike the majority of her workmates. When you ask her why, you can hear dozens of reasons:
That there will be too many people there
That she’s not a good swimmer, so if the kayak capsized, it could be dangerous
That she doesn’t like water actually
That she’s been having some pain in her shoulder anyway, so it’d be difficult to paddle
That she’s overworked and if the trip was a short one, then she’d gladly join it, but in this case the whole event would be too time-consuming
That she has trouble sleeping in a new place, so she’d surely suffer from insomnia and then she’d be exhausted on Monday, and on Monday she has plenty of important meetings and other things to do
That she’s too shy, and meeting a few new friends would be better than meeting the whole office at once
That everyone is surely experienced in kayaking unlike her, so she’d look stupid
That where’s water, there’s a lot of mosquitos, and mosquitos like her so she doesn’t want to end up with numerous mosquito bites on her skin
PLENTY OF REASONS…
When the opportunity is not what you’ve imagined
You see, the thing is that whenever we want something, we should bear in mind that our path to gaining what we want might not necessarily be the way we imagine it to be. Look at Monica’s example: she did want to socialise, but she hoped it to happen gradually, maybe someone would approach her at lunchtime, or she would stumble upon one of her workmates in the library she loves so much, or that one rainy day, she’d strike up a conversation at the coffee machine or whatever. But instead of that, the chance of meeting new people appeared in the form of a big event – not something Monica had been looking for, but something that could give her the same result she longed for.
If the opportunity that unfolds in your life is not what you’ve imagined it to be, before you turn it down, ask yourself :
What is more important?
Getting what you want and enduring discomfort for some time
OR
Not getting what you want but avoiding discomfort?
BAD THINGS IN YOUR LIFE SEEM NOT THAT BAD ANYMORE
So our Monica is suddenly better off without too many friends. Lonely evenings aren’t that bad anymore, and actually when you have friends, you need to nurture the friendships and who needs that?
I’m not saying that the things above are bad, that it’s bad to have lonely evenings, but if these were unfavorable things in your opinion, and when suddenly something triggers you, those things aren’t that bad anymore, then you might want to reconsider everything and think twice. Because I dare to say that at the end of the day, the things that you wished to change, are still the things you want to change. Really.
Example
I’ll give you my own example. As a teacher I had three options of the financial aspect of my job. 1) labour contract – working for a public school, not worrying about clients 2) contract of mandate – working for private schools, not worrying about clients 3) sole proprietorship – working for myself, gaining my own clients by myself.
For some years, I worked using option number 2. It was just more comfortable – I didn’t need to deal with searching for students, I didn’t have to deal with accounting, generally it was highly comfortable. But you see, the things is, there was no future there. No possibility of self-development. And so one day, I decided to terminate my comfortable contract and I started my sole proprietorship, and the first few days were so incredibly exhausting and stressful that my mind began to prompt that my previous lack of self-development hadn’t been that bad after all. That actually the previous situation had been so convenient and safe that I was surely insane to want to change that.
Of course, knowledge is power. I knew better than to listen to my brain producing false sense of danger. Now I’m a happy sole entrepreneur.
STICKING TO “WHY IT CAN GO WRONG” INSTEAD OF FOCUSING ON “WHY IT CAN WORK”
I guess the title is self-explanatory. You see, something always can go wrong. Really. Even when it comes to simple mundane tasks – like baking a cake: you might add an egg which has gone off, which in turn destroys the whole cake, but there are so many other reasons why you can bake an amazing cake, don’t you agree? Why would you fixate on the possible obstacles and failures?
Our Monica, for instance, as you could see, focused on the negatives only, maybe she could see some potential in the trip, but her gaze was on the cons which in turn entirely overshadowed the possible positives. I know that sometimes it’s easier said than done, but if you’ve caught yourself looking out for any spectre of failure, then just force some contemplation over why something can come off well.
EXCESSIVE BUSYNESS
It’s actually super trendy to be busy nowadays. We overload ourselves with plenty of activities, and sometimes we even find that addictive, but here I don’t want to talk whether in general it’s good or bad, now I’d like to point out that excessive busyness is one of the signs you’re looking for excuses.
You’re too busy to exercise for 20 minutes but you have enough time to watch a film or scroll through social media?
Exactly.
But I believe anyone can stop making excuses and go after what they long for. You can do it too.
You can change your life and achieve your goals. If others could do it, you can do it too!
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